Sunday, July 12, 2009

Are you sure?

I remember way back in the day when I was just a 2 months ago. I remember thinking about all the EDGE members and really the Navs staff in general that I had encountered in my time bouncing around AZ, or in California or Japan. They were all such great, amazing, on-fire people. They had that feeling like no matter what the question, you could ask one of these people and they would be able to give you a wise, bible-based answer. Then I realized, that's supposed to be me in just over a month! I'm so far from being the person those people were. I wish I could say that I was confident in my following of this path that God laid before me, similar to the "Here I am send me"attitude of Isaiah. Truthfully it's probably closer to Moses' "You know what I'm not a very good speaker and these guys they aren't going to believe me. God, don't you have anybody else to send?" (paraphrased from Exodus 4).

So I've spent some Q.T.'s talking to God about how strange it is that He brought me to this place, yet at the same time I realize God knows me better than I know myself. He has this thing masterfully planned out in a way that he considers beautiful and glorifying to Him. A way I may never see. He sent Moses down there performed miracles for Him, led him patiently by the hand in front of Pharoah, through the Red Sea and out into that nightmare of a desert, where he was kept safe by bread that fell from the sky! And I realized, this fundraising, these phone calls, these letters are God things. I couldn't mess them up if I tried. Not that I would, but still standing outside the front door before a Face to Face, knowing that God can't wait to show me how He planned this one out; it makes me sure that God most defintely could have chosen a better person, but instead chose to allow me the honor and blessing of seeing these things first-hand. That's been an encouraging thought.


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