Old Funding verse
While in funding school one of the verses we looked at was II Cor 4:16-18. I was praying over it the other day and found it encouraging.
While in funding school one of the verses we looked at was II Cor 4:16-18. I was praying over it the other day and found it encouraging.
What stories a week can bring! I left last Sunday afternoon for Cherokee, IA to visit some dear friends. We caught up, talked about ministry, and they even took me boating. What a blessing! I took off from Cherokee Monday afternoon. This week was full of ups and downs. I had 9 meetings scheduled in MN, and stayed at my old apartment with the two roomies. Here are a few cool God stories, or ways in which He worked in my heart and the hearts of others this week...
Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing."
-Genesis 12:1, 2 (ESV)
I kinda feel like Abram right now. God's calling me to leave everything behind. Today, it kinda hit me just what everything means. Our jobs. Our family. Our friends. Our comfort.
I read these verses, and it's difficult to comprehend. I mean, I know what it says, but I can't see verse 2. I can's see the great nation or the blessings. I see "Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house."
It flat out scares me. Leaving the country, the kindred, the father's house, it freaks me out. It almost feels like I'm running away from problems (and the problems have been piling up here).
I talked to God and told Him that I don't know what to pray. There's just so much unresolved crap that's going on here that I literally don't know how to pray. I usually pray my will (which I know I'm not supposed to do, but it's so hard to do otherwise), but I'm not sure what my will is.
Nobody said that this job was going to be easy, but nobody said that this was going to be so hard (no Coldplay reference intended). I'm looking for the easy yoke and light burden, but it seems to have gotten lost in all the chaos that is my last month in this place that I call home.
Please pray for me (Jason Jefferson), for clarity in how to handle all that's going on here (I'm sorry for the vagueness, but I don't want to share other people's junk). Also pray that I will be able to accept that which I can't fix and leave behind what I must. And, of course, for funding, both that the funds would come in and that I would be able to focus on it and this upcoming year. I need to focus a lot of attention on fundraising right now.
Am I the only one feeling this? Is anyone else scared out of their minds about this? Is anyone else feeling attacked?
Yet he did not wavier through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.
I remember way back in the day when I was just a navigator....like 2 months ago. I remember thinking about all the EDGE members and really the Navs staff in general that I had encountered in my time bouncing around AZ, or in California or Japan. They were all such great, amazing, on-fire people. They had that feeling like no matter what the question, you could ask one of these people and they would be able to give you a wise, bible-based answer. Then I realized, that's supposed to be me in just over a month! I'm so far from being the person those people were. I wish I could say that I was confident in my following of this path that God laid before me, similar to the "Here I am send me"attitude of Isaiah. Truthfully it's probably closer to Moses' "You know what I'm not a very good speaker and these guys they aren't going to believe me. God, don't you have anybody else to send?" (paraphrased from Exodus 4).
So I've spent some Q.T.'s talking to God about how strange it is that He brought me to this place, yet at the same time I realize God knows me better than I know myself. He has this thing masterfully planned out in a way that he considers beautiful and glorifying to Him. A way I may never see. He sent Moses down there performed miracles for Him, led him patiently by the hand in front of Pharoah, through the Red Sea and out into that nightmare of a desert, where he was kept safe by bread that fell from the sky! And I realized, this fundraising, these phone calls, these letters are God things. I couldn't mess them up if I tried. Not that I would, but still standing outside the front door before a Face to Face, knowing that God can't wait to show me how He planned this one out; it makes me sure that God most defintely could have chosen a better person, but instead chose to allow me the honor and blessing of seeing these things first-hand. That's been an encouraging thought.
Man, I don't know about you guys, but one think I was not anticipating was how hard it would be to set up the face to face appointments! With 1 1/2 months to fund-raise, the people I am trying to reach are on vacation or juggling family members and it has been really hard for me to actually set a time to meet up with folks. I keep clinging to the one verse that says a loving father will not give his son stone when he asks for bread. I know God is going to come through.
My main prayer is I will be 100% funded by Aug. 15th to report so that God may be glorified in some of my friends and family's disbelief. Their disbelief is not that I won't be funded, but that I will not be funded in the amount of time I have. I would love nothing else than to see them come to trust God and understand more of His love and providence!
Sometimes I want to look upon the number of face to faces I have done and the percentage raised I'm at and think..."wow, maybe they are right." But that is a thought I quickly want to take captive! I think of Romans 4:20-21 stating, "Yet he did not wavier through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." God's perfect timing is truly perfect..and if we believe that, we have to press on and keep trusting Him to provide. He knows exactly when we need to be on campus by! And He will provide what we need in the exact moment He chooses for His glory. For His loves endures forever!
Let's not let Satan trick us into thinking we are alone in this!
Sometimes there are lulls in my fundraising, where I don't have a face to face that day or the next and I feel like I'm letting God, myself and others down. Is that a normal feeling that's a lie, or am I not doing enough?
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